Random Snapshots From A Moving Train

Princess Bride

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Mariah and I spent half a day browsing though racks and rows of gowns/dresses at a bridal salon. Although we started our search last year, it's been quite sometime since we last looked for dresses so we tackled the task at hand with as much gusto and ferocity as can be expected from two wedding-crazed females. Those who have done this before, it's no easy feat. These gowns can truly weigh a ton with all the heavy fabric and embellishments on them. Mariah tried one after the other like a crusader on a mission. After going through what seemed liked a mountain of tulle, satin, lace and beading, she narrowed the choices down to two. Each one is markedly different from the other and posed a really tough choice. Although Mariah might eventually choose neither one of them, we both thought it would be kinda fun to solicit people's (meaning you, Friendster readers) opinions about them. It would at least give us some sort of idea what to look for in case the search for the perfect dress is not over yet. But then again, she might just heed your advice and pick the one with the highest vote . So how about it, folks! Let's give the bride-to-be a little nudge towards the right direction, shall we?

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Just Between Friends

Since I'm going to be out-of-town for the weekend, I thought I'd post an entry before I leave. I'm heading out to Michigan to visit a dear friend of mine, Marlica, and to be there for her son's (my godson Rhyss) second birthday tomorrow. It's been more than a year since I saw them both and it would be great to spend some time with them. As I'm mentally preparing myself for a long drive (5-6 hours), I contemplated on how long my friend and I have known each other.

We probably first met when we were in kindergarten but I don't know whether we were friends then or not. The one memory we both recalled from that time was an embarrassing event. Our nun teacher was a force to be reckoned with (at least from a child's viewpoint) so when Marlica and I unfortunately had the impending urge to answer a nature's call, we were too ashamed and intimidated to ask permission to excuse ourselves. We waited in agony until the whole class was subjected to our indiscretion, to put it mildly . Due to the painful nature of that memory, I think we both blocked it from our subconscious since we only had a vague recollection of what happened next. Suffice to say that we both didn't come back to school for almost a week. Can you blame us? I don't think so.

Anyway, by 2nd or 3rd grade, Marlica opted to go to a public school but we eventually got reconnected in high school. We, along with another classmate Charlotte, became bosom buddies throughout our teenage years, sharing a mutual love for books, movies, music and the Menudo . Our friendship survived college even while we studied at two different cities. We managed to get together on our occasional weekend visits to our respective families and during school breaks. We traded updates on each other's lives and discussed our plans and goals for the future. True, we had our differences and personality clashes as well but it never deterred us from staying friends for as long as we have even when we are now living miles and oceans away from each other. Marlica and I propitiously made our dream a reality when we got to the US soon after we graduated from Nursing school. Charlotte, on the other hand, is now a practicing pediatrician in the Philippines.

Through the years, we kept contact albeit sporadically. We also made friends with other people and established close relationships with them too. We moved on with our lives but when I was faced with making a decision to choose my maid-of-honor among my girlfriends, it was a no-brainer. I was indeed blessed to have Marlica by my side on my big day. I was, in turn, honored that she asked me to be a godparent to her son. Sharing the weekend with her and Rhyss is just an affirmation of how our friendship has flourished and that we never really outgrow our love for the people who are close and dear to us.

People have their own definition of what friendship is and what friends should be like. Some people make friends so effortlessly and some had been burned by people they considered their allies. Some folks find it easy to maintain this type of relationship and some lose them as quick. In any case, I think it's our human nature to connect with other people on a deeper level. Research found that having even one close or best friend can improve and extend your life. But we all need more than just one friend in case a friend moves away or is busy. A friend is defined as someone you are not related to by either birth or marriage, nor do legal ties bind you. Most social scientists agree that friendship excludes romance or sexual intimacy, or it has become something other than friendship.

Let me share this article to you. According to Dr. Jan Yager, there is a list of ten friends that every woman needs. It need not be ten separate individuals; some friend categories might overlap.

1. The Casual Friend. Someone you like and who likes you, but the friendship is far from intimate. In contrast to acquaintances or those with whom you merely network, there is a connection with a casual friend, but just information and activities are shared.

2. The Close Friend. Someone you'll be able to be yourself and they feel comfortable to be themselves around you, no matter what the situation is. You confide your private thoughts or feelings with a close friend without fear of repercussions because there is a mutual trust that confidences will not be shared.

3. The Best Friend. Like a close friend, the best friend is elevated to a high level of intimacy, but there is an assumption of exclusivity. A best friend may be harder to maintain after marriage. However, as long as boundaries are respected, women of all ages may still benefit from having a best friend.

4. Same-Sex Friend. Someone who helps you to validate or challenge your own perspectives and to be able to share about experiences along gender lines. Friends of the same sex, usually have a commonality about some experiences, such as issues related to fashion, career, romantic relationships, or childbearing.

5. Opposite-Sex Friend. Having an opposite-sex friend provides each gender with the chance to take a break from those gender-specific ways of connecting. In that way, a woman could have friendships with men that are more activity-oriented (and the male friends could find themselves more comfortable opening up emotionally to their female friends).

6. The Nostalgia Friend. You grew up together, went to school together, or once worked together. A nostalgia friend helps you to have a continuity in your life and reminds you of where you've been as a way of reaffirming how far you've traveled in life.

7. The Role Model. This is a friend you helps you go to the next level, whether she's better or works harder, or has somehow managed to find the right balance in her life among her career, romantic, childcare, and friendship pulls and choices.

8. The Motivator. When you're feeling defeated or overwhelmed, the motivator brings you way up, as she inspires you, and inspires you to keep trying.

9. The Realist. This friend doesn't put you down, but she does temper your enthusiasm and wild plans with welcome and well-meaning realism.

10. The Nurturer. A nurturer is the one who offers her help, if you want to take it. She doesn't just point you in the right direction for help. Even more importantly, she supports you emotionally by empathizing with your joys or sadness on such a deep level that it helps you to feel safer and stronger.

Yes, we need these ten friends in our lives but we also need to be providing these characteristics to our friends. How many casual, close, or best friends have you nurtured lately?

Perhaps I should add cyberfriends / Friendster friends to the list above. They are the ones who probably know me more on a regular basis as they read my blogs and profile updates. Some are just lurking and keeping their opinions to themselves and some are pretty much open and keen to establish a relationship by posting their comments, sending smiles and messages and by being generous with their encouragement. Recently, these friends are the ones I've been keeping company with and so far, I can definitely agree that being buddies don't require close proximity or geographical accessibility. It's all about the good intention and the good vibes that people bring to someone's life. Can I get an "Amen!"?

The Nativity Story

Although it was a day later than Santa Claus, the stork delivered a precious gift and the latest addition to my husband's clan. My sister-in-law gave birth to a healthy and handsome infant boy on December 26th. Needless to say, it was a much anticipated arrival especially since he's the first grandchild for both sets of grandparents. He's also my only nephew here in the US. Imagine my excitement  when Kenny called me at home to break the news. The next day, I visited the new baby and the exhausted but proud mom. We both marveled at how amazing it was to finally see their offspring. As much as I wanted to stick around to chat, Tif was getting somnolent so I made my exit and promised to see them again as soon as they're able to accept visitors at home.

We did see them again on New Year's eve. After having dinner with Tom and Mariah at Fogo de Chao, we all decided to welcome 2007 at Tif and Ted's place. They were indeed pleasantly surprised to see us. They opened a bottle of champagne and we waited as the countdown started on TV. Seconds later, we toasted to everybody's health, happiness and prosperity. We also offered our best wishes for the baby who was blissfully unaware of how momentous the occasion was. There's truly a lot to look forward to this year but there's also a lot of the past to remember and be thankful for.

It was seven years ago when I first crossed paths with Tif, Ted and Tom. I just recently met Kenny on Christmas day and days later, he invited me to a New Year's Eve soiree at the Hyatt Hotel in downtown Chicago. My friends didn't have any plans that night due to the Y2K scare and Mariah (my roommate then) was out of town. Not exactly looking forward to a boring night and ringing in the new year by myself, I gladly accepted Kenny's invitation without much hesitation. Little did I know that my life will be turned upside down as we all greeted the new millennium at the stroke of midnight. I suppose the kiss had something to do with it. 'Nuff said.

Diffident as I was, I braved the introduction to Kenny's sister and friends. Although I told myself not to worry about making a good first impression, I didn't really need to anyway. I found them very engaging and welcoming, unperturbed that a stranger sort of crashed into their little party of four. Let's not forget that they also introduced me to their cousin Eddie who was roaming around the hotel lobby garbed as  Elvis Presley in body hugging, sequined white outfit and with sideburns to match! How cool was that?   The family's quirkiness definitely appealed to my twisted sense of humor.   I was in great company, I'd say.

Although it was quite a brief encounter, I went to bed that night feeling optimistic that these individuals were going to be in my life for the long haul. It might sound like I'm spouting some metaphysical gobbledygook but I truly felt like I was reborn and given a new lease in life. I was at a crossroad of my existence and questioning my purpose and future. I was poised for a change and meeting Kenny couldn't have come with a better timing. He was my Christmas gift and my New Year's eve date rolled into one . Of course, he became so much more.

What we didn't surmise was that our romantic coalition  will eventually lead to another coupling among our friends. Although Tom and Mariah had been initially introduced earlier on, their cosmic stars didn't get aligned until three years ago . I'm happy to blab that they got engaged last spring during our trip to Venice (it must be the canal water    ) and are planning to make it official before the year is over. (The pressure is on, you guys!). Things are indeed coming full circle and I couldn't be any happier . Call it fate, destiny or kismet. It is what it is.

Some people might argue that everything is not predestined and that we all have the freewill to change the course of our lives. Well, I'd say the signs are there and our deep primal instincts just sort of nudge us towards certain directions. Sure, our choices might not always seem wise or circumspect and the consequences might not always be productive. Somehow, these circumstances will eventually guide us to the ultimate path and destination.

A former English teacher of mine once imparted these sage words, "Whatever happens, it's always for the best." It was a bit tough to chew on as a teenager but as I went through life-altering experiences and gained insight from them, I have to agree. To illustrate, if I continued to desperately latch on to doomed relationships in the past, I would have missed the window that was opened to me when the door was shut. Once I relinquished my emotional baggage (most of it anyway), I met the right one for me at the right time.

Before I become overly sappy, philosophical and poignant, let me close this post with these words from Jean de La Fontaine. "A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it."

Party Animals on the Prowl

As anticipated, the month of September looks fully booked for parties and invites. The Labor Day weekend was kicked off by two parties. Our friends Mike and Fritzi threw a joint birthday celebration for their four sons and my friend Mae hosted a birthday party for Mating and for Tom. It was a bit inconvenient with the logistics and scheduling but we can't really say no to one of them.

We got the puppies ready and packed up a few essentials. Nowadays, we just can't up and go. We have to bring their bowls, poop bags, wipes, leashes, snacks, dog food and the carrier. Luckily, they were a bit tired from lack of sleep from the night before so they were fairly cooperative and pretty much slept during the drive to our first stop, the kids' party.

To my consternation, the puppies had to be relegated to the backyard. I don't mind that at all except that the ground was still kinda wet and muddy and without much grass to lie on. By the time we left, they were kinda stinky and their coat and paws were grimey. Even though we did our best to clean them up before we got to Mae's house, I just don't feel comfortable bringing them in. Luckily, the hosts were just so excited to see the girls and didn't seem to mind their less than immaculate appearance or unclean scent.

The second party is more to our pace as it's mostly for adults with only a couple of kids. Not to say that we don't like children but it is kinda hard to relax when you have dozens of tykes running around. As it is, there'll be about a couple more parties and a christening to attend to before this month is over. It's all good. We always welcome the chance to get together with friends. And if we could bring our girls, even much better.

Un-Lucky Strike

Christmas Past

This is my entry on past Christmases. Read on...

Halloween Party 2005

T'was Halloween... read my entry about the Halloween party last Saturday.

         

Ten Friends That Every Woman Needs

Read my entry on Ten Friends That Every Woman Needs.

Liceans 1991

Meet, Meat and More

Check out my entry on Mariah's birthday dinner party.

Opa!!!

Opa!!! It is an expression that Greeks use when they are out for an evening with friends and having a good time. That's exactly what happened last night. We celebrated Tom's birthday at the Greek Island restaurant in downtown Chicago   .  It was just Tom and Mariah, Ted, Kenny and I.   Tif was sick and couldn't make it. We've been to this resto a lot of times before but we didn't get there until almost 10:30 pm since we waited up for Mariah to get off work. Luckily, the place was open till 1 am.

For dinner, I ordered Arni with Spinach Rice. It is braised lamb served over spinach rice. We shared a cold plate ( assortment of seafood, cold spreads, olives, beets, peppers and cheese) and a flaming Saganaki cheese (finest imported cheese flambed tableside) for our appetizers. Ted, Tom and I ordered a bottle of Rodity's wine while Kenny and Mariah opted for Cokes. Mariah and I shared a dessert called Creme Caramel which is baked custard flavored with caramel, a lighter version of our Leche Flan from the Phils.

The dinner turned out great as usual and the conversation was flowing.  I was feeling a little buzzed from the wine but managed not to make a fool of myself. We were entertained by Ted's anecdotes and between these three guys, the verbal exchange was a show on its own. Mariah and I were a willing and amused audience. We would have stayed longer but they will have to throw us out.

It was another great night spent with friends. Anyway, this weekend is quite packed as we have a birthday party to attend in the evening and perhaps a game of bowling later tonight. Gotta go shop for some presents. Later!

Road Trip to Rhyss-tianity

Kenny and I drove to Michigan late last night to attend the christening of Rhyss Matthew today.   He is the first born son of my friend Marlica. We got there at around 3 am but he was wide awake so we got reacquainted right  away. He has really grown so much since the last time I saw him about 5 months ago. I visited them a few days after Marlica gave birth to him and even took care of him for a couple of days when my friend had to be readmitted in the the hospital for a few days. It was a learning experience and a rude awakening at the same time. I now understand why new parents consider sleep as a luxury so hard to come by especially during the infancy stage. The crash course pretty much cooled off the "baby fever" thing for me for a few months. Nevertheless, it was still a joy to take care of Rhyss even for a short time and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. 

Rhyss was the only one baptized so it was a short and private ceremony.  It was officiated by a Filipino priest. I was one of the 10 godparents although not everybody was in attendance. The reception was at a restaurant that catered Filipino food. There was a lechon which I asked Kenny to take a picture of before it got mauled. It tasted good but I still believe that the lechon in the Philippines is the best. There was a lot of food so I bagged some leftovers upon my friend's urging. Kenny just couldn't pass up on teasing me again about having my stash of food for the week.

We left around 4 pm (Michigan time) and I took over the wheel for the first few hours of the trip so Kenny can a take a nap. He drove for the last two hours while I was chatting away on my cellphone at the backseat. The trip was about 5 hours long but we got home around 8 pm ( Illinois time) since we gained an hour on our way back. We decided just to relax for the night and maybe watch the DVD that he borrowed from Jonathan. He has been asking me to see the Kung Pao movie with him. It's supposed to be really hilarious. We'll see about that.

Yili's Bun in the Oven

We heard some good news today from our friends, Yili and Jonathan . They are expecting a delivery from the stork in a few months.  We are so happy for them and personally extended our best wishes for a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery. Yili has had a rough start so I hope things will get better. We are looking forward to seeing them again tomorrow as we made tentative plans to meet up at the Millenium Park for some recreation and sightseeing.

Yili and Jonathan are interesting and fun individuals and are such a great match. Kenny had quite a hand in getting them together. He had been friends with Jonathan for a long time and they shared a common interest in martial arts and dry, wicked humor. Kenny became friends with Yili when she was fairly new in the USA. She was from China and was going through some tough times and adjustments. When Kenny and I started dating,  we made attempts in fixing up Jonathan with some of my single friends but nothing came out of it. Then, Kenny suggested a double date with Jonathan and Yili.  Needless to say, the two of them got along so famously well    that it resulted to their own wedding almost 2 years ago   . It's quite amazing to me how things seems to come around when you least expect it. It's just kismet, I think. 

The Friends Ship

Today was quite a scorcher, 101 degrees and probably more . Nevertheless, it was a good day having just met some new friends. A few months ago, I started communicating with two young Filipinas whom I met through a Fil-West Forum site. They seemed very well-grounded and articulate and as I am open to expanding my circle of friends, I eagerly agreed to meet them in person.

Maybe it was the simple fact that we were from the same country and married to western men, but I personally felt that I truly found some good friends. They were as I thought they would be and their spouses were equally affable, fun and interesting. Except for the first few minutes, I didn't feel any awkwardness, no alarm bells or thoughts of "What was I thinking?" I could only hope that they feel the same way. Admittedly, I could talk a mile a minute so I hope I didn't scare them off.

So often, I tend to get wary about meeting other Filipinos who I don't know anything about from the get-go. It's not always an ideal set-up as there are certain types of people whom I probably would not want to associate with back home in the first place. I have developed friendships with people I met at workplaces but I do believe that there is always room for more. I try not to limit myself to people from my own age and generation, race, belief, profession and interests. Everyone has something to bring to the table and it could only enrich our lives if we are open to the possibilities.

I would like to give a shout out to Geri, Tom, In-In and Ryan, for one summer day (albeit, hot) spent on forging new friendships. Looking forward to more good times together.

                                                      

House of Poker

We got home pretty late last night. The party at Jeanny and Roldie was a blast.   We love the style of their house and they decorated it very well with taste. I'm sure they're not done with it yet. There's always something to add and change whenever you have a new place. We already got tentative plans on having our next Christmas party there.

Mariah and Tom also came but he had to leave earlier as he had a gig with his band. Mariah and I had been comparing what we had been experiencing since we came back from the trip. We both agreed that we went through a decompression period. We showed her the DVD of our pictures and shared a few laughs as we remembered some of the funny instances during the trip.

As usual, the night ended with a poker game. I  almost won again but Mae's sister, Che-Che, beat me to it. She's a happy camper all right. I remembered that she also won the first time she played the Texas hold 'em with us. She's been hooked on the game since ;-)

The Family Unit

For the past few days, I've been living on food leftovers from parties I went to last weekend. We also had a free dinner last night courtesy of my mother-in-law. She invited us over and served this oh-so-tender pork tenderloins. Of course, she packed some away for me to take home ;-) I always love whatever she cooks and my plate is always clean when I'm done eating. I reminded myself again to learn how to cook some of the dishes that Kenny really like.

Anyway, we'll be attending another party this coming Saturday. Jenny and Roldie is having their housewarming or blessing. It's quite amazing to see the transitions that my friends and I went through over the past years. We arrived in this country with nothing much but one luggage and a lot of hope and dreams for a better life. Now, most of us got their own homes and families. Throughout the years, we saw each other through good and bad times; marriages, break-ups, childbirths, deaths, relocations, birthdays and holidays.  Although we don't see each other as often as we used to, we have a strong bond that enables us to pick up where we left off every time we reunite for a gathering. We started as strangers and have grown to be a family unit.

God Bless the Child

We barely made it on time for the christening ceremony. I didn't realize how many babies were to be christened along with Pauline until I saw all the pews reserved for each baby. It was a cacophony of noises of babies crying, people talking and the officiating priest giving instructions to parents and godparents. It was also my first time to meet Pauline and I can't believe how much she have grown from the picture that was sent to us announcing her birth. That was 3 months ago. She was born prematurely but she is thriving very well and her parents couldn't have been any prouder.

The one thing I've noticed with christenings here is that most parents would usually ask only 2 to 4 people to be godparents for their child. But with Filipinos, that's a very low number. It's not unusual for a child to have more or less 8-10 godparents. That makes for a very lucky kid come birthdays and Christmas holidays.

I'm probably one of the few kids who got the lowest number of "ninongs" and "ninangs". I only had one of each. Obviously, I didn't get many presents when I was growing up. Sadly, my godmother died from breast cancer years ago and I can count with one hand the times I had contact with my godfather.  He was a journalist and held a vital position in the Malacanang Palace when I was in college. I remembered when I visited him in Malacanang Palace  in 1992, he arranged for a special tour for me and my classmates (we were taking our board review). He also gave me a money gift based on my age (100.00 pesos for each year). It was a very unexpected gesture but much appreciated as well. The last time I saw him was in 1994 when I asked for his assistance in getting my visa processed on time. I regret that I did not keep in contact and I doubt if he's even aware that my father already passed away. Maybe someday, I'll see him again.

I thought I had my fill of Filipino cuisine but seeing the buffet table laden with Filipino food and desserts, I was wrong. There was a lechon, although in my opinion, the lechons back in the Philippines seem to taste better. We also got a poker game started and played 3 rounds. I won $25.00 on the second game. I'm getting better at it and it's always a lot of fun if there are no sore losers at the table.

The weekend went by so fast. Kenny said he felt like he didn't really have a weekend off from work.As it is,we already received a couple of invitations for parties next weekend. Summers are usually like such a whirlwind of events and celebrations. I'm just glad I don't have to go to work tomorrow.

Show and Tell

Our sleep schedules are still very off. We went to bed early last night only to wake up at midnight and stayed up all morning and afternoon. We made DVDs out of our vacation photos so we could show it to our friends at the party.

Jennifer, the birthday girl, joined her sister Mae in the US early this year and it was her first birthday spent away from her family. She seemed to be doing okay and getting adjusted to her new life and job. I suppose it doesn't hurt to have your sister close by for support.

Everybody was asking about how the vacation went so we showed them the DVD slideshow. All the work that Kenny and I did to put the DVDs together paid off since our friends liked the presentation. Kenny also regaled them with some funny stories and anecdotes from the trip. I guess some of them started feeling like visiting the Philippines soon.

It's almost like every party we had gone to or hosted ended with a poker game and tonight wasn't different. It was a good game and Kenny and I were the only ones left playing so we agreed to split the pot money as it was getting too late to finish the game. We can both be very competitive at times and there was no telling how long the game would drag on. My friend Mae might have to kick us out of her place.   

Friendship Day

We were invited to the 1st birthday party of my friend Jane's son, Trent. After working last night, I managed to catch an hour of nap and Kenny and I were off to Hobart, Indiana. The party was held at a spacious community center and there were already a lot of guests partaking at the good spread of food that Jane prepared. There were mostly Filipino dishes but also a few American-friendly food was served. This was most appreciated since Kenny is generally a picky eater. Jane is a very great cook and when she visited us about a month ago, she ended up cooking a meal for us. The way she prepared the steaks was awesome and we've been flavoring our steaks her way. She also made ribs for me and pancit for our friend Cristy. What a gal!

Mary Jane or Ton-Ton is a very close college friend and I am so glad that we have reconnected after a few years of no contact. Her son is adorable and so attached to her hip, if I may say so ;-) Also at the party was another college friend, Glen, with his son Kyle (my godson) and his mom-in-law.  It was just so nice to touch base with old friends. Just recently, Glen has started a yahoo group for our Nursing class 1991 and a few former classmates had signed up. A lot of them are in the US. Some had already visited or called each other. A class reunion is in the works for next year. I'm definitely looking forward to that.

   

Fairy Godmother

I got a call from a dear friend of mine, Ate Belen. She just had a baby girl and asked me to be a godparent on her daughter's christening on July 10th. Of course I said I'll be honored to. Ate Belen and Kuya Paul are such great people and we're happy for their new bundle of joy . It was a long time coming and they deserve her more than anything else.

If my memory serves me right, little Pauline will be my fifth godchild here in the US. The first one was Kyle, the only son of Glen and Alice. Then came Rachel Anne,   the firstborn of Tess and Reden. Hunter was the third, also the firstborn of Ellen and Mark. Then came Vince,   the second son of Fritze and Mike. Aside from Pauline, I've been asked to be a godmother to Rhyss Matthew . He's the son of my childhood friend and maid-of-honor, Marlica. His christening is on August 6th. Whew!!! It is going to be hectic shopping for Christmas presents this year ;-) I'd better get an earlier head start.

    It is so exciting to see these kids grow up and become personalities of their own. I hope they will all make successes of themselves and make their parents proud. I hope to be around to witness that.